Remembering Changed My Spiritual Life
Updated: 4 hours ago
A letter on resonance, trust, and letting my path become my own.
So, I’ve had another unexpected realization this week. At some point, my realizations will stop being so unexpected 😅.
I was in my office (my little zen zone) talking about spirituality. At some point in the conversation, we started talking about spiritual tools, and I found myself looking around the room.
My eyes landed on my crystals first. Then my tarot and oracle decks. Next, the candles. The incense. My singing bowls. Oils. Books. Smudge bundles. (A quick scan confirms I haven’t left anything out).
There was a time when every one of those things represented possibility to me. Every new book or deck felt like another piece of the puzzle. Another way of understanding myself and the Universe. Another doorway into something bigger than me.
But somewhere along the way, something quietly changed.
It’s not that I decided any of these things are wrong. I still think crystals are beautiful. I still love and see the value in Numerology, Astrology, and Human Design. And I appreciate all of the teachers and traditions that helped me along the way.
I just noticed that I don’t reach for most of those things anymore.
For a while, I had this quiet fear that I don’t think I’d ever said out loud.
What if I’m becoming less spiritual?
It wasn’t a dramatic fear. More like a question that would occasionally drift through my mind before disappearing again.
The interesting thing is that while I was reaching for fewer spiritual tools, my spiritual life didn’t actually feel smaller.
If anything, it felt... simpler, yet more expansive.
A few months ago, my deep inner calling shifted from “manifesting” to “remembering” instead. At the time, I thought I was just choosing language that better resonated with me.
Looking back, I believe my intuition was pointing to something much deeper.
Manifesting, for me personally, always felt like I was trying to become someone.
Remembering feels like returning to the true essence of who I’ve always been.
In my journey of remembering, I’ve accepted that some spiritual modalities never truly resonated with me, even though I wanted them to. Crystals are probably the best example. I genuinely love them, but every time I tried to “feel” the energy everyone else talked about, it felt like I was trying too hard. It almost felt like I was attempting to convince myself I was having an experience instead of simply having one.
Eventually, I stopped trying, because I stopped believing that every spiritual practice had to become my spiritual practice.
That realization has been especially freeing.
What’s been even more surprising is what has happened after I stopped trying so hard:
The closer I’ve grown to myself, the more effortless some of the practices that do resonate have become.
My relationship with tarot has changed. I no longer feel like I’m trying to decode a message. It feels more like sitting in communion with myself. I picked up my pendulum for the first time in months this week, and the movement was immediate and clear in a way it never used to be.
I don’t know exactly what to make of that. Maybe it’s intuition. Maybe it’s trust. Maybe it’s relaxation. Or all the above.
What I do know is that I’ve stopped feeling like I need to collect spirituality.
I don’t need another modality to prove I’m growing. I don’t need to experiment with another practice simply because someone else has found meaning in it. I don’t need another crystal to deepen my connection (although I will definitely buy one when it catches my eye because I love and am worthy of beautiful things 🙂).
The things that are truly mine seem to meet me with an ease I never have to manufacture.
As I’ve been sitting with all of this, I’ve realized that the fear was never really about crystals or tarot or any of the tools sitting on my shelves. The fear was about the possibility that I was drifting away from my spiritual path.
Now I wonder if the opposite has been happening all along.
Maybe I haven’t become less spiritual. Maybe I’ve just become less dependent on spirituality looking a certain way.
Lots of Love,
Shantā | The Waking Goddess
Comments